The book is out. After many days, weeks and months of writing, planning, editing, not sleeping and designing. It is finally here. When launch day arrived I was scared to announce to the world that I had done this thing and it now available for all to see. I started to question everything I had done to bring this book to launch. A natural reaction that I think we all have. Second thoughts to proceed forward because there is always a little voice inside called shame that tries to control your progress. After a few hours I told shame to fuck off. Actually a good friend of mine in a text as I shared with her what I was feeling, said “tell the shame fairy to fuck off!” Thank you Debbie! Using that one forever. :)
Fast forward to today. Although I am excited that I did proceed forward and appreciate the many texts, post, and messages about how much people love the book. I caught an error this morning. Then a million F bombs left my mouth. It is a page that I read over and over. How could this happen! Error fixed, but there are a ton of copies now in the hands of many people.
So what do I do with this? In the midst of beating myself up, because this introverted extrovert has her moments.
My fiance told me “it’s ok. Everybody’s first time in everything has mistakes. It’s minor, let it go”, in the midst of my text freak-out session. Then my designer said (who has been my sanity many times throughout this entire process), “it’s one of those things our brains tend to skip over.”
My daughter calls me on FaceTime on her way to class and I share what happened. She said “Mom it’s ok, it’s not that big of a deal. People probably won’t catch it or that’s a page they don’t always read”. That made me laugh!
My colleague said, “it’s so minor and your words are what people should be focusing on. This is such a beautiful book and gift.” “Can you sign these for myself and my friend? I got her a copy for her birthday.” So as I sit in a bit of shock with tears in my eyes because, oh you know, I am freaking the fuck out over this error, I had to realize this does not devalue any part of the book and pull myself together.
Apparently my colleague thinks #FillYourTank is the perfect gift for her 55 year old friend who has everything. And, that ladies and gents quickly closed the loop to my self-pity party this morning. It’s about the experience, accepting that mistakes happen, the gift of connection and to feel connected.
Even in major publications and books written by well known people there have been errors. It’s OK to make mistakes. There will be mistakes. I am ok with this mistake because I am human, my team is human but most of all our intent to produce beautiful work that comes from the most authentic place is sprinkled all throughout my book. That is what is important than an extra word.
It is refreshing that my 40 year old self seems to bounce back quicker from these things more than my 20 year old or even 30 year old self. Growth, wisdom and patience with yourself calls for celebrating the mistakes as reminders that there is always room to improve.
Instead of worrying about the errors. I am going to relish in the moments of joy in seeing the messages that come in like the ones below. After all accomplishments should celebrated.
Xo - LH