Thank You 2018 for the Struggles and W's

It’s been a year… To say the least. If I shared all that has happened in the year I should start writing a screen play. I couldn’t make up half the insanely funny, often bat shit crazy ridiculousness, and slices of uber exciting things that have unfolded if I wanted to. Some are just too painful to share and there were too many WTF moments to keep track of.

This has been a year for a lot of people. I think I can confidentiality say, 2018 has been shit and sunshine for many people. My daughter graduated high school, and has just about completed her first year of college as a student-athlete. You might recall she started earlier than intended last Jan. It’s been an exciting ride watching her evolve into a college student and turning 18. It has also come with a lot of emotions and breakdowns with my arms wide open to catch her. What many people do not see is the pressure student-athletes have to perform and for those athletes like my daughter who are extra over achievers and put added pressure on themselves it creates a hole that feels too big for the strongest of people to dig out of. That in turn makes this momma bear and other momma’s out there filled with much worry. I have plugged away at making sure resources are available to my daughter beyond the campus. Making sure she is reminded there is life beyond the soccer field, that the friendships she makes now may stick for a lifetime and many will dissipate. That the coaches do not define her worth because she is more powerful than they are. That a title doesn’t mean your a good leader. That she must remain humble and a leader at all times because the world needs more of her.

Ya’ll it’s been a lot of motivating and scared moments for me as a mother. Perhaps I will share more on this in another post. It really would require it’s own post. But, let me tell you, the kid has also had a lot of fun. I think we have rounded the year out with her having memories that she will cherish forever. She has a nice beau that we really like. He’s tall, dark and handsome. He’s an athlete as well. Most of all, he is kind to her. Kelis had surgery (Non-sports related) two weeks ago and is recovering well. I am thankful and count my blessings daily that she could have the surgery here in Seattle and be home on break for me to take care of her. Today we got a call from the doctor that the cyst removed was benign. Thank God! That girl is warrior through and through. She calls it grit.

I turned 40 this year and embracing it with every fiber of my being. I had an amazing party to celebrate turning 40 with a room full of kick ass friends and family. There has been so much evolving within myself this past year. Coming to terms with the way I have experienced heartbreak, having to do and make hard decisions. Standing in my truth of pain and pleasure. Made the decision to cut people out of my life that truly added no value. No room for surface superficial bullshit. I stopped inviting people who were repeat no-shows to events, or failed at committing to getting together. And, boy believe me as I clinched 40 my no fks given meter hit an all time record. I believe you cannot complain about disappointment of others if you allow them to continuously disappoint you. Move on and enjoy the folks that are there for and with you.

This year challenged me on every damn level possible. I cried a lot and I laughed a lot. I laughed with beautiful souls I call friends, I cried at the pain the world is in, and I cried a lot behind my own personal pain. Loosing someone dear to me this year and trying to resuscitate anything left of that has taught me a lot about the power of healing. A daily work in progress but I believe all things heal in time. That experience has reminded me that I can do hard things and I have done hard things. I have done the unimaginable and when I think I can’t, I know I can.

I closed a division of my company, 12/14 and now working on an amazing re-brand for the business. Something I have dreamed of doing for the last 20 years. More to come on that in 2019. My corporate world is wonderful. I have to say, being an HR leader by day and an entrepreneur 24/7 has had it’s challenges but I would not change it for anything. The beautiful thing about being in corporate HR for me is I have been able to do the thing I love, continue to motivate and inspire people. I love my company and the people I work with. Although in 2019, I will embark on a new endeavor that will take me away from this team. It is and will be bitter sweet, but It is an opportunity I cannot pass up.

There was a lot of travel for work and some for pleasure. Many wine nights at my house. Good friends, conversation and a lot of yummy food I am not suppose to eat. I indulged. Several happy hours in the books, attended shows, made more time to connect with friends individually or as couples (I want to make sure more of this happens in 2019), and Kelis went to the UK to visit her dad’s family. UK, Paris, Scotland and Ireland. Now that girl won with the travel schedule this year.

My first book that I started writing several years ago was edited this year. This was a major W for me. It was also very scary and still is a bit scary to release into the world. I have read it, cried, laughed hysterically and often times catch myself forgetting that I wrote this damn book. It’s pretty surreal. It has grabbed at the depth of my soul and when I am ready to release it into this crazy beautiful world we live in, I will be ready for all the words and all the feelings.

A few months ago it became clear to me that my second book would turn out to be my first book. I won’t go into detail how that came about. However, today my designer sent an email with the subject line reading…YOU HAVE A BOOK!

The book has been written and designed. Next stop… Publishing!

So, I turned 40, my kid graduated high school, started college playing D1 soccer, and I wrote a book. My dog had surgery and it broke my heart. She’s getting older and I find myself so sad when she looks at me with those sweet eyes filled with so much unconditional love. I know she is thanking me for loving her back unconditionally. It’s still so hard. Not sure what this journey looks like or what the next stop or start will look like. What I do know, is I am ready for whatever comes my way. The story is still being written and we do not have any control on what the universe has in store. Just embrace it.

Cheers to 2019!

Xo - LH

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